The Phone Call That Took Me Three Weeks to Make
I stared at the number on my phone screen. Just press the button, I told myself. My heart pounded, my fingers hovered over the dial pad.
I had been putting off this phone call for three weeks. It wasn’t anything dramatic, just a doctor’s appointment I needed to schedule. But every time I thought about it, my brain reached for something else instead. Fold laundry? Sure. Scroll through social media for an hour? Why not? The phone call kept slipping to tomorrow.
Sound familiar? That moment of knowing a task is simple, and still needing a different approach to actually get it done?
What’s Really Going On When a Phone Call Feels Big
For many people, making a phone call is just another item on a to-do list: dial the number, have the conversation, move on. For an ADHD brain, that same call can take a lot more energy to launch. If you’ve ever stared at your phone and felt stuck, you’re not alone, and there’s a clear, brain-based explanation for it.
Getting Started: What Helps the Brain Launch
Starting an unscheduled task, especially one that feels open-ended, draws on several executive functions at once:
- Planning what to say
- Remembering key details
- Processing new information in the moment
- Responding in real time
Phone calls ask an ADHD brain to do all of this at once, with no script and no pause button. Once you know that, it makes sense why a call can sit on the to-do list longer than it “should,” and it points straight at the fix: build in the structure your brain doesn’t get from the call itself.
Navigating the Unknown on a Call
Many people with ADHD also experience Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a heightened sensitivity to perceived criticism or rejection. Calls carry some natural uncertainty: How will the conversation go? Will I say the right thing? Will I remember everything I meant to cover?
Naming that uncertainty ahead of time takes away some of its power. A little preparation goes a long way toward making the unknown feel more familiar and manageable.
Turning “Later” Into “Now”
ADHD brains are wired to respond strongly to what’s immediate and less strongly to what’s down the road. A call that could happen today doesn’t always register as more pressing than one that could happen next week, so it’s easy for “later” to become the default.
The pattern often looks like this:
- I’ll call, but first, this other thing.
- I’ll do it later, when I feel ready.
- Later arrives, and the pattern repeats.
The good news: this pattern responds really well to small, concrete shifts that bring “later” into “right now.”
How to Make Phone Calls Easier
Try these ADHD-friendly strategies:
✅ Write a script. Bullet points give you a clear starting line and keep your thoughts organized.
✅ Use a timer. Set a 5-minute countdown and commit to dialing before it ends.
✅ Do it with a body double. Ask a friend to sit with you while you call.
✅ Reward yourself afterward. A small win deserves a small celebration, and it makes the next call easier to start.
Most importantly, remind yourself: “I am capable, and I can do hard things, my brain just needed the right kind of support to get there.”
Learn more about our coaching process: ADHD Coaching
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